Aug 29, 2012

Get To Know A D'Bag: SDSU

The season is finally upon us!  Tomorrow will mark eight long months since the Dawgs last took the field.  Much has happened since the loss to Baylor in the Alamo Bowl - the biggest change being the much needed overhaul of the defensive coaching staff.  New schemes are being coached, new defensive packages are being implemented, and the Nick Holt high-waists have been replaced by the Justin Wilcox low-visors.

It's time for Husky fans to finally see this new and improved defense in action.  And it's finally time for me to slip on my snarkypants, knock off the rust, and pen a D'Bag.  So let's get to it:

Washington kicks off the 2012 season with a visit from the Aztecs of San Diego State.  SDSU went 8-5 last season, but lost a very solid QB/RB tandem in Ryan Lindley and Ronnie Hillman to the NFL.  The new quarterback of the Aztecs is a player Husky fans are quite familiar with, former Oregon State Beaver, Ryan Katz.

"You're wrong, bro. Ladies do dig the pencil 'stache."

LOLKatz transferred from OSU to SDSU after losing his starting spot last year to Sean Mannion.  Katz had a solid season in 2010 when he threw for 2401 yards and 17 touchdowns, but Dawg fans probably remember him best for tossing this ball to Joe Halahuni in an attempt to secure a two-point conversion and what would have been the victory against UW.  Fortunately, Cort Dennison disrupted the play, the ball fell to the turf, and the Huskies won 35-34.

The Beavs have lost 13 of 18 games since.

In addition to Katz, the Aztecs added former USC wide receiver Brice Butler.  While he failed to find consistent success as a Trojan, Butler was a very highly rated WR coming out of high school and his big 6'3 frame could pose problems for the Husky secondary.

Early in the offseason, it appeared SDSU would add another talented former Trojan in running back Dillion Baxter.  If that name sounds familiar it's because Baxter was the focus an old story after he lied about Washington contacting him after USC was hit with their two-year bowl ban.

"Barber, I want nothing on the sides. Like zero sides."

Baxter continued to be an idiot at USC until he was booted off the team.  He then lasted six weeks as a member of the Aztecs before his chronic tardiness and habit of falling asleep in study hall got him kicked off that squad as well.  D-Bax has now moved down to the NAIA level to play at Baker University in Kansas.  Quite a fall for a player that was once ranked as the #5 running back in the class of 2010.  Oh, and there's no word on whether he's still rocking the Kid 'n Play haircut.

So now that we've talked a little about the San Diego State football team, let's take a look at the university.  SDSU's greatest claim to fame is that it served as the backdrop for the fictional Rancho Carne High School in the Kirsten Dunst cheerleading vehicle, Bring It On.  Their endowment might only be 5% of UW's (135mil vs. 2.6bil), but goddamnit they have Bring It On.

What is Rancho Carne anyway? It sounds delicious!

Quick side note: Kirsten Dunst is a perfect example of a "two-face" - sometimes, like in the photo above, she looks great.  But other times, she looks like a demon-witch who eats children.  Quickly scroll down if you don't want to see evidence of the latter:

Ahh!!! Is that Chip Kelly's girlfriend?

San Diego State also sports a pretty impressive alumni roster. Famous NFL coach and walking land-mass John Madden is an Aztec.  So was actor/humanitarian Gregory Peck.  As well as Carl Motherfucking Weathers:

Apollo Creed says, "Hey kids, give HGH a shot!"

Another notable alum is pornstar Mika Tan, who majored in Biochemsitry at the university before becoming an adult actress.  Her dual interests raise that age-old question, could she differentiate a biopolymer from a monomer while getting [bleeped] in the [bleep] by a room-full of [bleeps]?

My money's on Mika.

And your money should be on the Dawgs in this one.  UW is a 14.5 point favorite at the time of writing this and should ultimately rely on their high-powered offense to outscore the Aztecs.  I expect the defense to look much more disciplined and fundamentally-sound with Wilcox at the controls, but I doubt we'll see a dominant performance right off the bat.  Call it 34-17 for the good guys.

To everybody headed to the game on Saturday: get to the tailgate early, get in your seats before kickoff, and get LOUD.  Hopefully the Huskies can take advantage of some of the false start penalties that have haunted Seahawk opponents at the Clink over the last few years.

Go Dawgs!

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