Dec 30, 2012

Frustrating End to a Frustrating Year

The 2012 season ended in more frustration with a 28-26 loss to #19 Boise State. At 7-6 (5-4 in conference) for the third straight season, it's difficult to see this year as anything but a disappointment. What makes matters worse is that UW was five points from a breakout year. If the Huskies don't collapse against Wazzu and execute a little better against BSU, we're all lauding a 9-4 season and looking forward to bigger and better things in 2013.

Not quite there.

But unfortunately, that wasn't how the cookie crumbled this year. And yes, the late season failures of this team had a lot to do with coaching. Sark most definitely has his work cut out for him next season. The whole "brought the program back from the dead" excuse is deep in the past at this point. Sark must prove that he's more than a mediocre .500 coach. In my opinion, anything less than 9 wins next year should result in the program looking for a new head coach.

How do you grade this season? free polls 

Fortunately, 9 wins should be very possible in 2013. A very winnable out of conference schedule of Boise State, at Illinois (2-10 this year), and Idaho State should lead to a 3-0 start to the year. UW only loses a small handful of senior starters (Drew Schaefer, Desmond Trufant, Justin Glenn, Jon Amosa) and will be a deep, experienced team next year.

Sark should be coaching for his job in 2013.

The major keys for improvement will be the offensive line (particularly in pass blocking) that gained a ton of experience this year and will (hopefully) welcome back former starters Erik Kohler and Colin Tanigawa. Obviously the quarterback play needs to improve as well. It would be a major surprise to see Keith Price get beat out by Derrick Brown, Cyler Miles, or Jeff Lindquist, but if KP doesn't regain his 2011 form in spring and fall practice, a new Husky quarterback next year is a possibility.

More likely though, the increased competition, improved offensive line play, and addition of Marques Tuiasosopo as QB's coach will put Price back on the right track. A year more experience for the receiving corps and the addition of 5th-year senior James Johnson should also help KP regain the confidence he clearly lost this year.

James Johnson will provide a major boost in the WR corps in '13.

Another area needing improvement is the pass rush. UW only had 27 sacks this year (one fewer than last year). But with Josh Shirley and Andrew Hudson being juniors next year and hopefully Hau'oli Jamora returning from injury, the defensive end position should be able to put significantly more pressure on opposing quarterbacks next season.

The Dawgs will also need to find a complementary running back to Bishop Sankey as it's just not feasible to expect him to carry the ball 28-30 times a game. Jesse Callier should be back, and maybe even Deontae Cooper - I would absolutely love for that kid to find success on the football field after three years of rehab. Ideally UW could get some production out of a bigger back as well, maybe Dezden Petty or newcomers Dwayne Washington, Psalm Wooching, or Ryan McDaniel.

Ultimately, 2013 should be a breakout year for the Huskies. The 2012 squad had an unusually rough time with injuries (especially at the o-line and running back) and still should have gone 9-4 (or at least 8-5). If this coaching staff can't find at least 9 wins with this experienced team next year, it's time for somebody else to take over the job.

Go Dawgs!

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Dec 21, 2012

Get To Know A D'Bag: Boise State

Ol' Boise State... the little blue engine that could. What was once a David vs. Goliath story (see 2007 Fiesta Bowl vs. Oklahoma) has become an annoying fixture of college football media coverage. And now the blue turf of Boise is headed to the Big East conference... sure, that makes sense...

The site of the Great Smurf Massacre of 1927.

But back to this year's Las Vegas Bowl. Washington actually got a very quality opponent considering they're stumbling into this bowl following a loss with a 7-5 record. There are eight Pac-12 teams in bowl games (including two BCS bowls), but somehow only two of them are playing ranked opponents, including UW versus #19 Boise State.

I couldn't help but notice that Boise's top running back is D.J. Harper. If it feels like Harper has been at Boise since UW beat them in '07, it's because he has. He has gotten carries in six years as a Bronco and actually has set a record for the longest a black guy has ever lived in Idaho.

Congrats, D.J!

BSU has been remarkably dominant in pass defense this year, only allowing three touchdown passes the entire season (and one was a trick pass from a running back). Keith Price and his receivers have a major challenge ahead of them.

Once again, this game will be decided in the trenches. If UW can successfully run the ball as well as force Boise to pass on offense, they will have an excellent shot at winning this game. Boise's new quarterback is no Kellen Moore, but he does have a rad porno 'stache:

He works under the name Bernie Bronco.

Overall, UW is the more talented team, but Boise plays very disciplined football and is ultimately the better coached team - after all, BSU's coach Chris Peterson has turned down 368 head coaching offers over the years. Now for some obligatory photos of Boise State girls:

I have a gut feeling that UW's defense dominates this game. I'm sure Wilcox has put a few wrinkles into the defensive schemes and I'm envisioning Shaq, Trufant, Feeney, and company overwhelming a very pedestrian Boise offense. I'm picking UW 17-10.

Go Dawgs!

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Dec 12, 2012

Daquawn Brown Loves To Party

In an extremely unusual decision, three-star cornerback Daquawn Brown committed to Wazzu even though it appeared he also had an offer from Washington. The Los Angeles product visited UW last weekend and had visited CougFarm back in November.

His decision left college football pundits everywhere scratching their heads. Why would a kid want to play for a school that is 12-49 over the last five years compared to a team that is headed to their third straight bowl game? Why would a recruit pick the sad, barren Palouse over the vibrant Emerald City? Why would a kid want to play for a coach who publicly embarrasses his players?

But with a single 4-word tweet, all of these questions were answered:

Daquawn loves to party. Academics, shmacademics. If the Four Loko ain't flowin', D-Brown ain't comin'.

The unfortunate part is that while Daquawn came to Wazzu for the party, he stayed because he was locked in a shed.

To be fair, it does have Wi-Fi.

Go Dawgs!

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Nov 26, 2012

Crapple Cup Hangover

Ugh. That sick feeling deep in the stomach of Husky Nation continues to linger despite the long, holiday weekend. And it certainly didn't help that the B-ball Dawgs got crushed at home by Colorado State nor that the Adderall-laced Seahawks gave away their game down in Miami.

But nothing compares to the shock and horror of blowing an 18-point lead in the fourth quarter to the lowly Cougs. With the Huskies up 28-10, I was getting excited at the idea of celebrating another Apple Cup win by posting a solid Wazzu pic sent in by a fan of the site... thirty minutes later I was questioning the existence of higher powers and filling up a Super Big Gulp with Jagermeister. Here is what should have been that AC victory photo:

Now it's streaked with tears of Husky sadness.

This fourth quarter meltdown was as unbearable as they come. The swing of emotions from this game was like being told you would be receiving "an all-expenses paid trip to Dallas for the Super Bowl" and then discovering that you'd be going to Dallas, Oregon and the "Super Bowl" is a giant container of shit. Or it's like being up 18 points in the fourth quarter of the Apple Cup and then losing the game.

Just to remind us of how Cougars respond to the thrill of a 3-9 season, one cowardly Couglet sucker-punched Austin Seferian-Jenkins as he was walking off the field after the game (look closely at the 45 yard-line on the right at the 12-second mark):

Stay classy, Pullman.

It's a shame ASJ can't invite that fan to partake in some one-on-one tackling drills... as the Couglet quickly sprinted away like the sucker-punching bitch he is. ASJ did get a little revenge today though when it was announced that he made the All-Pac-12 2nd Team while his assailant was fired from his position as the assistant dishwasher at the Cougar Country Drive In.

While it would clearly be the right thing to do, don't expect Wazzu athletic director Bill Moos to make an announcement condemning this type of behavior. He failed to mention WSU fans throwing ice chunks and injuring members of both school bands at halftime of the Apple Cup two years ago and failed to denounce the array of bad fan behavior at Nike U while he was the AD down in that hellhole.

Bill Moos: "Fans can't punch players?! What?!"

Unfortunately, one epically terrible quarter has derailed the potential 9-4 season that would have signified solid improvement in the Husky program. While the bad taste from this loss may never completely go away, a bowl win against Boise St. and an 8-5 record would still be a step up from the 7-6 finishes of the last two years.

It certainly feels like Sark needs at least 9 wins next year to keep the momentum going. Realistic goals for the '13 season should be to spend the entire year ranked in the Top 25 and to be competitive in every game (i.e. no more of this 30-point blowout crap). We'll see if Sark and Co. are up to the task.

Luckily, the Dawgs have an opportunity to push this disaster further into the past and finish the year on an upswing. I will be crossing my fingers for a matchup with Boise St. in the Las Vegas Bowl as at least the matchup has a rivalry feel and it would be satisfying to knock the always-hyped Broncos down a peg. But that UW team we watched last Saturday better not show up...

Go Dawgs!

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Nov 22, 2012

You Already Know This D'Bag: Wazzu

Happy Thanksgiving, y’all! And it’s Apple Cup eve! Due to a bizarre decision to play the game the Friday after T-giving… Anyway, this AC actually matters. Check that, it only matters for UW as the sad sack Cougars will be home for the holidays yet again, attempting to collect the pieces of the clusterfuck that has been Mike Leach’s first season in the Palouse.

“It abuses players just like the real coach!”
After all of the preseason hype about The Pirate sailing into Pullman to take Wazzu to a bowl game, this year has to be a major disappointment to the Cougar faithful. Not only are they headed to a 2-10 season and their passing offense has taken a major step backwards, they’re also getting a lot of bad press from Leach’s bizarre behavior, which can’t impress potential recruits.
Should Leach rock dreads to change his image?

Going 0-9 in Pac-12 play is miserable enough, but losing to lowly Colorado at home is almost inexplicable. The Buffaloes lost to the Hornets of Sacramento State for crying out loud.

It’s tough to say whether Leach’s hard-line approach will change the losing culture at Wazzu. It’s not surprising that so many players have left the team as high attrition rates are common with coaching takeovers, but they’re generally not this high. And Leach’s “tough love” approach of publicly degrading his players has come off as reckless.

Wazzu really does need to recruit bigger players…

Former star receiver Marquess Wilson was the highest profile departure from Leach’s program, which increased the media spotlight on the head pirate after Wilson’s letter to “Cougar Nation” publicly questioned the coach’s treatment of players. Wide receivers are generally known to be the prima donna’s of football teams, so it’s difficult to say whether Wilson is a pioneer for amateur athletes’ rights or just a plain ol’ bitch.

The double earrings point to the latter.

This is off the topic of the disaster that is Wazzu football, but have you noticed the Husky coach who is constantly waving a towel on the sideline? Here he is in action:

Now that's some cardio!

His name is Thump Belton and he’s an assistant strength coach under Ivan “Drago” Lewis. Belton has an inspiring story of escaping his rough neighborhood in Charlotte by using his endless optimism and energy. Gregg Bell has a great article about Thump on Friend of the site, Stuart Faris snapped this pic of Thump on the sideline.

Thump-Dawg was in the process of telling Stu that he would gladly pose for a photo after the game, but was currently focused on his energizing responsibilities. Clearly this candid shot of Thump is much doper.

I think Thump has a major business opportunity here. You Got Thumped Inc. could feature Belton jumping and passionately waving a towel at any event of your choice: birthdays, weddings, baptisms, you name it!

Back to the game at hand. Obviously the AC can always surprise with a wild twist, but this game absolutely looks to be UW's to lose. The Dawgs are 13.5 point favorites and have been playing much better offensively over the last two games (averaging 36 points per game). Let's call this one 31-20 UW. Now if you're making the trip out to Pullman, be careful over there. Lots of riff-raff in the area:

"Mmm urine! Now in Douchebag Flavor!"

Full disclosure: I paid $12.99 for internet in my hotel room to post this crap. On Thanksgiving no less. But goddamnit, that's how much being snarky about the Apple Cup means to me. You're welcome.

Go Dawgs!

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Nov 20, 2012


The Huskies didn't start playing until the 2nd half on Saturday, but still managed to beat the sad, sad Buffaloes of Colorado by 35 points. And it wasn't even that close. It's honestly tough to predict who would win in a battle between this Colorado team and the field full of dead buffalos from Dances with Wolves:

I gotta go with tatonka on this one.

After a string of mishaps early on, Keith Price regained his record-setting touchdown form with a career-high five TD passes. Bishop Sankey out-gained CU by himself, cutting and slashing for 187 rushing/receiving yards versus 141 total yards for the Buffaloes.

Sank-Dawg in action.

At the beginning of the year, most fans were unsure if Sankey could step in and become an every down running back. Now he's having the best sophomore season in UW running back history with 1,156 yards (tied for 8th all-time) and 13 touchdowns (tied for 5th). Pretty happy he spurned the Cougs for the Purple & Gold.

Saturday was quite a day for Husky Nation: the football team blew out a Pac-12 opponent on the road, the basketball team knocked off Seton Hall, and then this happened:

Even their tears taste like cheating.

Stanford smacked the ducks right in the mouth in Eugene, winning 17-14. Nike U is now on the outside looking in at the National Championship Game (don't call it "the natty" ever, not even as a joke) as well as the Rose Bowl. Wah, wah. But hey, at least they still have their trash bags full of junk food:

Nom, nom, nom, quack, nom, nom, nom.

Just a nice little Saturday. Now we're onto a shortened Apple Cup week, so I'll have to drum up some pics of Wazzu fans looking like idiots quickly, which really shouldn't be difficult, but feel free to email me any particularly embarrassing ones you may have in your possession at

I'll leave you with this sweet de-cleater tackle from UW's Tre Watson, the Pride of Ellensburg:

Gotta get up to get down.

Don't forget to slap a Cougar today. Go Dawgs!

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Nov 16, 2012

Get To Know A D'Bag: Colorado

The Battle of the Weed States!

This week the Huskies travel to Boulder to take on the lowly, sad-sack eyesore of the Pac-12 (besides Wazzu obviously), the Colorado Buffaloes. This team is bad. Like historically bad. At 1-9 on the season, Colorado's lone victory was over the aforementioned Pussycats of Washington State, who could go full H.M.S. Bounty on Captain Leach any day now...

The 2012 Colorado Buffaloes, ladies and gentlemen!

Colorado's defense is actually the worst in major college football. They are dead last in points allowed at an astounding 47.2 per game. They are also dead last out of all 124 fucking teams in yards allowed per play at 7.26. So basically UW should be able to start at their own 20 yard-line, run Bishop Sankey eleven straight times and get an 80-yard scoring drive.

That really could happen. The Buffaloes let Arizona running back Ka'Deem Carey run for a Pac-12 record 366 yards last week. Carey was barely touched on a number of those runs and Sankey is arguably the better running back. Colorado will be at home in this game, but I would be shocked if UW runs for less than 200 yards against these jabronis.

"Maybe we'd be better without helmets..."

Nope, you still suck. With a career record of 4-19, many CU fans are calling for head coach Jon Embree's job. And who can blame them as the Buffaloes are poised to go winless at home for the first time in 92 years. But the Huskies can't just waltz into this game thinking they won't have to earn the win. As we all know, even a blind man can sometimes find his dick (I don't think I did that expression right...), so UW can't take this road win for granted.


Hopefully this is another game were Price can regain last year's form. If CU loads up to stop the run, I expect KP to kill them downfield with ASJ and Kasen. I'm predicting a breakout game for speedy WR Jaydon Mickens with a couple of deep balls coming his way. With marijuana now legal in the Centennial State, we should expect plenty of this:

Don't actually do that, Keith. For serious.

Ultimately, I see this one staying too close for comfort in the first half, but then the wheels fall off Colorado's bus and the Huskies blow them out. The pick is 38-17 with the Dawgs fanning the flames of the dumpster fire that has been Colorado's 2012 season:

That smell is pungent.

Go Dawgs!

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Nov 15, 2012

Three in a Row!

Things are looking up! Fresh off a solid beatdown of Utah, the Dawgs now have a three-game winning streak with a great shot of winning their next two and a bowl game. The performance against the Utes was the best all year as the Huskies dominated all three phases of the game.

Consider yourself Timu'd.

After jumping out to a quick 8-0 lead, the Utah offense deflated faster than a football at USC. The Husky defense only gave up 188 yards and just 142 after Utah's early score. The Dawgs made life miserable for Utah's quarterback, sacking Travis Wilson four times and limiting him to 55 passing yards. Even Utah's first score was aided by a very suspect personal foul penalty on 3rd down that kept the drive alive. Justin Wilcox definitely earned his money on this one.


The old Keith Price returned as well - throwing for 277 yards with three total touchdowns and no turnovers. And most importantly, he brought a little swaggerage back to his game, including that nifty TD run shown above. We should expect KP to continue his groove against Pac-12 doormats Colorado and Wazzu (assuming the team doesn't fall apart on the road...)

Austin Seferian-Jenkins had another huge day, catching seven balls for 99 yards. He's also playing defense now, rushing the quarterback as a defensive end. The injuries (and ineffective play) on the defensive line have created an opportunity for ASJ to spread his magic to defense as well.

"I'm a large human!!"

I understand the theory that guys can get hurt at anytime: practice, weight room, banging their girlfriend in an Arby's bathroom, etc. but I still get a little nervous watching the big man take on linemen off the edge. What do you think?
The Dawgs now look poised for an 8-4 season and a bowl game. Unfortunately, that bowl will most likely be smaller than the Alamo and Holiday bowls of the last two years, but definitely could feature an opponent that the Huskies should beat. Even with the ugly blowouts, a 9-4 season is undeniable evidence that this program is on the upswing.

Before I go, I have to mention this story about the #1 middle linebacker recruit in the land, Reuben Foster. It's a pay article so I'll paraphrase. First of all, we posted an article back in the summer about how awesomely good this kid's highlight tape is after he made a quick trip up to Montlake for an unofficial visit. Since then, Foster committed to Auburn, but now he's looking to take visits after the Tigers have stumbled to a 2-8 record this year.

It sounds like Foster is setting up a visit with UW, but there's just one problem: after committing to the Tigers, he got a giant Auburn tattoo on his forearm.


Think if indecisive wide receiver Jordan Payton got tattoos every time he committed to a school last year - dude would look like this asshole. Does anybody know a tattoo guy that can turn that A into a sweet W?

Go Dawgs!

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Nov 10, 2012

Marquess Left Wazzu In Protest of Leach

Wow. The bombshell just dropped that star wide receiver Marquess Wilson left WSU to send a message that Mick Leach's treatment of players is unacceptable. He didn't mention being locked in a dark shed specifically, but you can make that judgment for yourself. Here is Wilson's letter explaining his departure:

Clearly Mike Leach has no problem with telling elite talent to "walk the plank."

For the millionth time, thank god we're not Wazzu. Let's beat Utah and become bowl eligible tonight!

Go Dawgs!

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Nov 8, 2012

Get To Know A D'Bag: Utah

This week the Huskies play their final home game of the season at the CLink against the mighty Utes of Utah. As you all know, UW has been much, much better at home this year than on the road. Utah is similar - they've turned their season around with two straight wins, but they're still 0-4 in away games this year.

The best player on this Utah squad is dominating defensive tackle Star Lotulelei. This 320-pounder is projected as a potential top ten draft pick next year and is a monster at shutting down the run.

22 years old? I thought he was 37!

Oddly enough, Star Lotulelei already looks older than Neil Patrick Harris will ever look. That's not just me talking, that's a fact. Lotulelei leads the team with eight tackles for loss and three forced fumbles. His given name is actually Starlite, which yes, is the majestic rainbow-haired white horse from Rainbow Brite.

I can see the resemblance.

As he's enormous, Starlite Lotulelei may have been the first kid to be given the name of a mythical pony, but was never, ever teased. He's also a feel good story as he worked as a furniture mover after high school before dedicating himself to getting back into football and now he's on the verge of being a multi-millionaire NFL player. Many media outlets like to frame this as a "rags to riches" type story, but that ignores the fact that Star was an absolute beast at moving furniture.

Star was ranked #3 in the West by Moving Shit Monthly.

Lutolelei's boss at the furniture moving company had extremely high praise for his one-time employee, "He must have been a Tetris whiz growing up because this kid has squeezed an entire office building into a single U-Haul truck. Star Lotulelei could fit a dining room set into the crack of your ass." Well, there you have it.

Another very intriguing player coming out of the state of Utah is Sam Gordon, a highly-ranked 9-year-old running back from Herriman. Gordon has put up ridiculous numbers this year with 1,911 rushing yards and 35 touchdowns. Oh, and she's a girl.

Full disclosure: when I read that headline, I assumed this 9-year-old was either a hyper developed hogmolly or a 300-pound Mormon girl bulldozer with a pituitary disorder. It turns out she's much less Ursula the sea witch and way more Speedy Gonzales.

"If I see one more goddamn arm tackle..."

Anyway, this should be another close game. Utah is actually a 2-point favorite even though they have yet to win a road game this year and the Huskies have beaten two Top 10 teams at home. Clearly Vegas was unimpressed with UW's performance at Cal, which is very understandable.

The Dawgs will have to keep Utah running back Jon White in check as the Utes are 11-0 when he runs for over 100 yards and 0-10 when he's under the century mark. That's just about as telling as it gets. The Husky defense gave up 75 yards to Stepfan Taylor (Stanford) and 90 yards to Storm Woods (Oregon State), so all signs point to this being a close battle.

Unsurprisingly, Wazzu failed.

UW will put another major load on Bishop Sankey to churn out first downs and win the time of possession battle. I expect both lines to play much better in the juiced-up atmosphere of the CLink than in that sad slopfest down in Berkeley. I don't think UW breaks that 21-point barrier versus FBS teams in this contest, but they hang on to win a close one, 20-17.

Go Dawgs!

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Nov 6, 2012

Bear Ass Ugly

First of all, apologies for failing to get the D'Bag: Cal post up and for the delay on this game recap. I'm going to go ahead and blame Hurricane Sandy... and by that I mean the 50-gallon drum of Hurricanes I drank last weekend that I nicknamed "Sandy." The good news is I never lost power - the bad news is all that simple syrup put me in a diabetic coma.

Anyway, the Huskies won their first road game in over a year and now sit above .500 at 5-4. This one was mighty ugly (4 turnovers, 249 rushing yards allowed, 12 penalties, etc.), but a win is a win. Even if that win looks like your toilet eight hours after eating the Biscuits 'n Gravy Combo at IHOP.

Do yourself a favor and just flush it directly down the bowl. 

While the majority of this performance was brutal to watch, a couple of Husky players brought their A games down to Berkeley. Bishop Sankey continues to look more and more like an elite running back with another big game: 189 yards and two touchdowns. B-Sanks did have a fumble, but he also put up 98 yards in the first quarter alone and showed great patience and burst throughout the game.

Awesome Seferian-Jenkins also had a huge night with a career-high 152 yards and a touchdown. He's well on his way to smashing all of the records for a tight end at Washington which is crazy considering all the great TEs to play at UW (Pierce, Bruener, Conwell, Cleeland, Stevens, Joel McHale, etc.) and that ASJ is a true sophomore. His juggling 29-yard TD catch was an absolute delight:

Just ASJ being much better than opponents.

This young team desperately needed the confidence boost of finally getting a road win. Unfortunately, it was more like a game of "who wants it less" versus Cal than an impressive performance by UW. The team that beat OSU at the Clink ten days ago would have abused this Cal squad harder than Mike Leach does his own players.

Cal should be especially embarrassed. Yes, they've had a brutal run of injuries - including their best player, wide receiver Keenan Allen, but this stinker of a performance at home, and now a 3-7 record, has to put Jeff Tedford's job extremely close to the chopping block. After all the offseason whining about UW stealing Cal coaches (again see: Lupoi, Tosh), it was particularly enjoyable watching the Huskies pick up the victory on the field as well. One-time Golden Bear commit Shaq Thompson helped twist the knife a little more by playing his best game of the season.

So we'll end the post with a photo goodbye to Jeff Sadford, who is most likely on his way out at the end of the year (for the full effect, be sure to hum Dust in the Wind as you scroll down):

Go Dawgs!

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