Aug 31, 2011

Bo Knows Bulletin Board Material

Some quotes from Eastern Washington QB Bo Levi Mitchell during yesterday's interview with Softy on KJR:
On why he thinks the Eagles can beat the Huskies:
"The fact is they're bumped and bruised a little bit, they're overlooking us a little bit, and they think they're bigger and better than us."

"These guys aren't, you know, the actors from 300. They're not huge, they're not overwhelming, you know, we're gonna go in there and play them like there just another football team."
*Side note: Holy crap do I want to see the Huskies play the actors from 300.  All that ab makeup won't save you from this beatdown, fellas!

Prediction for Saturday:
"EWU fans show up, they scream loud, and they get to watch their boys win another game."
Hmm...I'll put a wager on that, Bo Levi.

If you're still looking for tickets to the game on Saturday, take a look at the selection at TiqIQ.  As of right now, they have tickets for $49 as well as pricier tickets in some nice sections.

Saturday can't come soon enough.  Go Dawgs!

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Aug 30, 2011

Get to Know a D'Bag: EWU Eagles

Finally, the season has arrived!

UW opens the 2011 campaign by playing an FCS team for the first time in school history.  And wouldn't you know it, that team happens to be the defending champion of the lower division and currently ranked #1 heading into the season.  It's kind of like picking a fight with a 12 year-old who happens to weigh two hundred pounds.

So let's take a closer look at this pudgy, prepubescent college football champion.  Thankfully the game is being played in Husky Stadium as, like my grandpa used to say, "I'd rather be dead in Seattle than alive in Cheney."  Even if you forget the fact that Cheney is the town equivalent of a blistered gooch, just look at where they play football:

An artist's rendition of a brain aneurysm.  

It's also what the FieldTurf at Husky Stadium looked like through the eyes of TheDawgDude after Locker got whistled for that excessive celebration penalty vs. BYU back in '08.  Never have I been so mad watching a football game.  My failed attempt to rip a phone book in half was not only embarrassing, but also made me that much angrier.  Not only did my team lose in the most horrifying of ways, but it also turns out that I'm clearly not the Christian "feats of strength" superstar I envisioned in my mind's eye:

Obviously I need more Lord in my diet.

Ultimately, I did feel some vindication when my post about that game became the top ranked result on Google when searching for the assclown who made that terrible call, Larry Farina (Even higher than a website called!)  Wow, that tangent was massive.  Back to Eastern Washington.

The Eagles are certainly the very best of the FCS.  They definitely have the talent and coaching to beat a number of FBS teams - including the Lil' Wulffies from Pullman.  While star running back Taiwan Jones is now in the NFL (4th round pick), EWU returns quarterback Bo Levi Mitchell, plenty of the offensive line, and much of the receiving corps.

Bo Levi Mitchell (yes, he's from the South) threw for nearly 3,500 yards and 37 touchdowns last year in guiding the Eagles to a 13-2 record and the FCS championship.

BLM: The Face of Intimidation.

As you can tell by the shirt, Mitchell transferred from SMU where he started 19 games as a freshman and sophomore.  Yes!  Finally an excuse to post this photo!

If you look closely, that dress shirt is actually Photoshopped on in the chestral region.  Thanks for stealing the magic, guys.  In my book, covering up boobs with Photoshop is just a notch below molesting baby seals.

Saturday's game will also be the EWU debut of former Husky RB Demitrius Bronson who left UW in January in search of more playing time.

That hat may have also played a role in Bronson leaving UW.

The Eagles from the east will certainly be jacked up to prove themselves to the nation with a win in Husky Stadium, but a much more talented (and deep) Husky squad should be able to avoid a doomsday "Michigan vs. Appalachian St." scenario and win comfortably.

I think the game will stay closer than expected in the first half, but Washington's depth will eventually wear down EWU, allowing the Dawgs to dominate them physically (just like my fight with that huge 12 year-old).  I project UW to beat the 18-point spread and get a 1-0 record for the first time in way too long.  Final score: 41-21.
If you haven't already, join the social media pages on Facebook and Twitter so you can stay up to date on all the snarky, Husky-related commentary you need.

Go Dawgs!
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Aug 22, 2011

Sweet Hype Video

Great work by shindiggler on this.  The quotes from Sark will surely stoke mancrushes of Husky fans everywhere and that "Unstoppable" track is just perfect for football hype videos.

Meanwhile in speedingwithweedgate, Oregon quarterback Darron Thomas gave his observations on the incident from his passenger seat perspective:
"I woke up, the police was right at the window talking about it. That's all the facts I know."
Or not.  But to be fair, Darron Van Winkle suffers from severe narcolepsy so let's just cut him some slack on this one.  Here's a puppy doing his Darron Thomas impression:

Go Dawgs!
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Aug 19, 2011

Mason Foster Shines, Chip Kelly Whines

First off, former Husky linebacker/current Tampa Buccaneer Mason Foster put a huge lick on Chad Ochocinco in a preseason game last night:

The penalty is debatable, but the viciousness of the hit certainly is not.  In a classy move, Ochocinco sent this tweet to Foster earlier today:
great hit last night,if u're fined I'll reimburse u boss.That's the way the game should b played.Stay healthy n have a good yr
Looks like #40 is earning a starting linebacker spot as well as the respect of NFL vets.

As it doesn't seem like we can go a day without Oregon doing something stupid, embarrassing, or unethical, here is a clip of Chip Kelly being his douchebag self when asked about the newly-released Cliff Harris video by a group of reporters:

Ol' Chip tried hard to hide his snippy dickhead personality at the Pac-12 Media Day, but he just couldn't manage to cover it up in this interview after practice.

My favorite part is Kelly's comment that duck quarterback Darron Thomas' leadership is "as good as I've been around."  Thomas has ridden shotgun with a teammate who was street racing, another who was cited for marijuana (Remember Jeremiah MacStoli?), and now one who was speeding with weed. 

Evidently, Chippy McSmirk takes his leadership cues from Gaddafi and Bashar Al-Assad.  Read more about Thomas' "leadership" in this article by duck-slapper John Canzano.

Go Dawgs!
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Aug 17, 2011

Spliff Harris Police Video

The patrol car dashboard cam footage has been released of Cliff Harris being ticketed for driving 118 mph on a suspended license with weed smoke pouring out of the Altima that he "rented" from an Oregon employee.  Oh, and duck quarterback Darron Thomas was riding shotgun.

Wah wah.

Most of the tape is pretty boring, but the highlight is this exchange:

Trooper: "Whose got the marijuana in the car?"

Spliff Harris: "We smoked it all."

Trooper: "I don't know if I believe that."

Later in the conversation, before the trooper asked to see his Pac-10 championship ring, the red-eyed Harris blamed the ganja on a non-football playing cousin in the backseat.  I just don't understand why cousins and friends are constantly using drugs around star athletes...those sober, law-abiding athletes must get so frustrated that their buddies just love ripping bongs in the athletes' cars and apartments and storing their weed in the pockets of said athletes.

 Trix are for kids and weed is for cousins.

I know from personal experience that my cousin takes advantage of any chance he can get to puff blunts in my general vicinity.

My cousin: "You're going on errands? That's cool, I'll just hang out in the backseat and smoke weed."

Me: "Sounds good. As long as I can serve your ass to the police on a silver platter if we get pulled over."

My cousin: "Absolutely!"

Me: "High five!"

I just hope that Cliff Harris' cousin learned his lesson.

Oh and thanks again Oregon for providing the site with more embarrassing content to post - it's like the Daily Show during the Bush administration over here.

Go Dawgs!
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Aug 6, 2011

Heidi Klum: Celebrity Spokeswoman

If the shades are good enough for Heidi, they're good enough for your ugly mug.*

*No, these are not actually TDD sunglasses.  So no need for Klum's people to sue me for falsely using her likeness or defaming her character if she is in fact, not "Classy as Fuck."  Also, a big thanks to Sarkisianity for finding this pic while conducting "research."

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Aug 3, 2011

End of the Jesus Locker Era

Now that Jake Locker has officially inked a pro football contract, we here at TDD feel it is time to retire our collection of Jesus Locker memorabilia in one final send-off.

 "Thou shalt not intercept thy passes."

Nearly six years ago to the day, Locker committed to UW and immediately was slapped with "the savior" label.  The Huskies were coming off Gilby's disastrous 1-10 campaign and were about to go through the embarrassment of Ty Willy's 2-9 inaugural season.  It was a dark, dark time for Husky football and Jake was seen as the light at the end of the tunnel.

A very controversial Heisman campaign by UW...

Locker didn't win the Heisman or lead the Dawgs to the Rose Bowl, but he was instrumental in getting Husky Football back on the right track.  Many Husky quarterbacks won more games than Jake, but not many faced the difficult circumstances and constant scrutiny that Locker endured.

No mention of turning Lake Washington into Rainier Ale? C'mon!

So here's to #10 learning from Matt Hasselbeck and kicking ass as a Tennessee Titan.  Let's just throw in an old Superman graphic from '07 for good measure:

Really not sure how that tiny kid got a scholly from BSU.

Go Dawgs!

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