Dec 29, 2010

Get to Know a D-Bag (again): Nebraska

The good news is we made it to a bowl game for the first time since 2002. The bad news is we're playing Nebraska, the team that stink-palmed us 56-21 at home back in September. The worst news is I have to write about these Cornholers twice (enter the Caption Contest for this pic for a chance to win a free TDD shirt).

No way, sicko. My kid is not getting "in you."

While I was hoping the Huskers would completely drink their way out of the game, it appears that they still have enough players to compete even after the Plague of the DUI. Damn. One guy who won't be suiting up on Thursday is Herbie the Husker. The mascot is awaiting arraignment after a little Jackie Daniels/handgun run-in with the police earlier this month:

"Do it, Herbie! Show us how drunk you are!"

While it makes sense that there would be some bad blood between these two programs after their game earlier this year, a contentious Washington/Nebraska volleyball game has also injected a little extra juice into this rivalry. After the Huskies upset the #3 Huskers to advance to the Elite 8, coaches Jim McLaughlin (UW) and John Cook (Neb) had to be restrained from tearing each other's throats out:

"You fuckers think just because a guy coaches women's volleyball he can't start some shit?" (Two Mallrats references in one post!! You're welcome.)

Hopefully, the football Huskies learn from the lady volleyballers and upset heavily-favored Nebraska on the gridiron. One area where the Dawgs are clearly outclassing the 'Braskans is in band performance. Obviously, I'm more biased than the East Coast on this, but I think the videos speak for themselves:


Don't you want to rip Lil' Red's head off? Oh snap, the Raccoon did:

Look at that menacingly rabid stare. Terrifying.

This is one of those games where every break will need to go UW's way for the Dawgs to pull off the upset. Nebraska's defense has been spectacular all year and should still be extremely impressive even without the two suspended drinking-whilst-drivers.

Live-action Lil' Red.

Don't get me wrong, if the Huskies play their most complete game of the year, they can win. But the defensive line will have to shrug off injuries and play their balls off to keep Nebraska's running game under control. On the positive side, the Husker offense has been out of sorts over the last five games with Taylor Martinez struggling with a high ankle sprain. Unfortunately, the 26 days off before the bowl game should have T-Magic fully healed.

Regardless of the outcome of the game, it's a great feeling being relevant during the bowl season again. Obviously we all want more than 6-6, but the improvement under this coaching staff is definitely a positive indicator for the future.

Speaking of positive indicators, it has to be a good omen for us that a dolphin at SeaWorld tried to kill Nebraska coach, Bo Pelini.

It really wasn't the dolphin's fault. He thought Pelini was a Fathead fish:

God, Pelini is ugly. And his decision to extend a scholarship to a skeleton was a real head-scratcher:

That guy is going to be worthless out there.

BREAKING NEWS: it appears that Herbie the Husker has posted bail and will be in San Diego for the game. All Huskies in the SoCal area should be extremely vigilant.

Be careful: when Herbie drinks, he'll grope the hell out of you with his tiny hands. There are few things worse than being tiny-groped in this world, believe me. I had my own run in with this monster back in '96.

Anyway, I hope everyone is pumped for the game and if you're in the Seattle area, definitely think about stopping by the Wing Dome in West Seattle for the TDD Holiday Bowl Party. It will be the highlight of your year, if not your life.

Raise your glasses to seeing plenty of this on Thursday night:

Go Dawgs!
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Jeff said...

I'd just like to point out that raccoons can be very, very mean. Unlike ducks, which are just very, very gay. And raccoons generally have the good sense to avoid building vomit-inspired basketball courts.

TheDawgDude said...

Plus 97% of raccoons have rabies, so they got that going for them.

Jeff said...

Once acute symptoms appear, humans almost always die from rabies within a week. Once the green and piss "I love my ducks" t-shirts come out, humans are almost always douchebags for life. I'd much rather have rabies.

Don's Revenge said...

Is this party still on for tonight? Haven't seen an update the last couple of days hizzere or on fbook. Before I mozzie on over and get my purple drank on I just want to make sure homey! I'll be the one eating #5 spice drumettes only with those nipple hardnin cross cut fries fo sho. Someone said you are collecting over under scores before the game for one of those gresh shirts? I don't see anything about that though? Gots lots of questions fo sho.

DuxsUpHoesDown said...

Thats' not the real Jeff. Total incsisterencys in his riding. I wish it was true tho! lolz
Guys mind if I drive up an watch the game with you? Il'l be good I promise. Ive got to find a ride tho- pigs took my car last week saying I was sauced up at noon? Whatever. If I go ill be the won wearing a shirt that looks like one of those cards on the side line accept it spells out my name, lolz.

Jeff said...

Funny, funny, Dux. We know all about your genius shirt idea, since you posted it here on accident about a month ago. And there are no inconsistencies in my riding. Ask your mom. Heyyyyy .... I kid. Just too easy, though.

I'm sure you're welcome to come up and drink purple drank with a room full of rabid Huskies. Nothing bad could come of that.

Go Dawgs! War Eagle! Fuck if I'm going to listen to duckfans talk about a national championship for the next 60 years.

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